Jordan: 0:00

I, uh, will add 30 seconds to two minutes of very cold water at the end of my shower.

Lindsay: 0:06

We've done this together. We

Jordan: 0:08

haven't done this together. Well,

Lindsay: 0:09

not like in the shower, but like you used to have a tub, right? We are not that close of friends. Hey, everyone. Hi, Jordan.

Jordan: 0:29

Hey, Lindsay.

Lindsay: 0:31

What's up? Yeah, not a lot. Oh, gosh. Not a lot, but a lot. A lot. It seems to be what we always say. Not a lot, When someone, anyone asks me what's going on, what's new with you. I go blank. There's so much going on that I don't even know where to start, but not much, I guess.

Jordan: 0:50

Start with, we have a new podcast. Yes. It's called. Yeah. We have kids. We have kids.

Lindsay: 0:57

Period.

Jordan: 0:58

It's this. It's this. You're listening right now. This is

Lindsay: 1:01

our newest endeavor, our newest fun hobby. We're in Jordan's finished basement.

Jordan: 1:07

Ooh, finished is a little bit of a stretch.

Lindsay: 1:11

Whatever. I have like, okay, so I live by a riverbank and I have a crawl space that's just cemented and we have to keep it very dry. We run a dehumidifier down there and so this is very finished for me. I love it.

Jordan: 1:25

Yeah, we don't have to dehumidify anything, which is great for my husband because being from the UK he gets very, triggered by Dehumidifying anything and everything.

Lindsay: 1:34

He probably loves living in Utah. Oh my god,

Jordan: 1:36

dry air here. He's obsessed with it Having a dry towel when you get out of the shower It's like probably

Lindsay: 1:42

It's

Jordan: 1:45

luxury

Lindsay: 1:46

Probably can't handle like any mildew smell or Like old, wet,

Jordan: 1:52

anything. I don't know. Yeah. But luckily there isn't any of that here.

Lindsay: 1:56

I've never been to the UK, but I feel, I sense that, uh, from description and just from understanding the weather there. And all of our wine tastings. Jordan and I have done a lot of wine tastings. So much wine in the U. K. So much, like, I'm just thinking

Jordan: 2:12

of old

Lindsay: 2:13

world wine. My brain went from like, U. K. to like, Europe. From rainy Europe. Like, old.

Jordan: 2:23

Oh, that's like, that's funny. They've got a lot of cider in the UK. Yeah. Great, great beers and ciders, but not a lot of winemaking happening. Not in England

Lindsay: 2:32

at least. They're missing out on everyone else making the wine in Europe.

Jordan: 2:35

Yeah. It's a good spot for wine. Yeah. Cool. Welcome in. Yeah, welcome. Hi.

Lindsay: 2:42

This is how all of our meetings go when we hang out. It just gets very random and we start going all over the place.

Jordan: 2:49

Yeah. This is what happens when you're a parent and you don't get to hang out with your friends enough guys.

Lindsay: 2:54

No structure in conversation at all. It's just going to go in 80 different directions in less than five minutes. Yep.

Jordan: 3:02

Yep. Strap in.

Lindsay: 3:04

All right. Welcome, everyone. We're having a new episode. We're just moving along here with episodes. It's been so fun learning all the tricks and like the equipment and everything. So this is going fun. Yeah. Um, yeah, we have a few fun ish things to talk about today. We're talking about a big one, self care, we do foresee more episodes about self care, but right now we're going to talk about self care in the sense of the first few weeks of postpartum and how to find that self care and what's important. Since we've both had that experience, I would say recently within the last year, I, it's definitely something that will continue to like be forced that I have to force it on myself to like self care in every day. Oh, absolutely. It's a struggle. Yeah. And when I look back, I wish I would have done better at, at that, but I think I was more in survival mode. I would imagine you were too. And

Jordan: 3:59

I'm still, I am still in survival mode. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. I'm still in survival mode. I'm recovering. Actually, I had like quite, uh, quite an adventure yesterday. Yeah. So it was a wild day. My kid had a doctor's appointment in the morning at like nine. So Adrian and I got up, did our quick breakfast routine, got out the door as fast as we could with a one year old, which is never the quickest experience in your life. If you've had it, then you understand. And yeah, we got to the doctor's office just five minutes late. I kind of thought that was a win. but the doctor's office was running super behind. I think they were short staffed or I don't know what was going on. Um, what ended up happening was we waited for a full hour and had a restless kid and a restless husband who eventually just Uber to work because it got so late. You know, long story short, by the time we left the doctor's office, my baby was Was not having a good time And,, I thought that it would be a good idea based on her nap schedule yesterday to just do shopping, grocery shopping immediately after the doctor's, not realizing that it was going to be such an ordeal and totally a disaster. Lindsay, don't ever, don't ever go shopping after the doctor.

Lindsay: 5:21

I get what you're saying though.'cause sometimes when you have all those appointments and you're running around already, you're like, let me just get the groceries real quick. Like, I just

Jordan: 5:29

wanna do it all right now. Yeah. Like can I just

Lindsay: 5:30

get it done? Yeah. Don't wanna like go home and then do it later. Oh, I get it. But good point. Yeah.

Jordan: 5:36

No bad idea. So I mean, if everything went smoothly at the doctor, I think that would've been one thing

Lindsay: 5:41

I was gonna say. It probably would've gotten better. Yeah. A little. Had you not waited so long. Yeah.

Jordan: 5:45

Before I mean ideally she doesn't really like to get prodded by strangers. So that was Maybe never gonna go. Well, anyway, and then it's And then it's Thanksgiving week. So we get to Costco, she's already fussing. I put her in the seat the whole way around this super, super crazy, busy store. Costco is the worst place to go during a holiday week. PSA for everyone. I know we all have to go there. We don't all have to, we get to, I know it's a privilege, but. But good God, yeah, it can be a lot. So by the time we were leaving, she was like trying to get out of the little car and wriggling and screaming. And I was about to be screaming myself and then we had another full grocery shop to do. Yeah, it was terrible. By the time I got home, and then she fell asleep in the car on the way home, which was always scary because you're like, are they going to go back to sleep? Oh my God, I just ruined my whole day. Um, but yeah, we got inside. I was able to transfer her to her crib. She was passed out. She hadn't even, like, she'd missed a meal. I don't, she must have just been out of sorts, but I put her down. She was too asleep to even wake up, which I was kind of grateful for, really. but I was so exhausted. I just hauled the groceries in. I looked at them on the floor, and I thought to myself, my nervous system is, like, sparking right now. Like, I can't even take a full breath. I can't look at these groceries. And I had nothing to do but lie down on the floor, Lindsay. I was like, I have so much to do, like, I have so much to do during this nap, like what can I, but my brain was just not working on my side. So I, what I did was I set a timer for five minutes. I laid out my yoga mat. I put up a couple blocks and like a pillows to make it comfortable. And I literally just laid on the floor. Groceries everywhere around me.

Lindsay: 7:36

minutes. That is a picture that I can perfectly see in my mind of you on the floor with the groceries trying to like chill out because What mom can't understand that, especially with like, when you mentioned your nervous system was just like, like radiating and like sparking. Oh my gosh. I like, I know exactly the moments that I have. It's like bringing me up just to think about it. Yes. When you said I was like,

Jordan: 8:03

Oh, I know exactly what she's talking about. Yeah. So in that moment, I realized that a good topic today, um, and perhaps one of the most ironic that I'm coming at you with altogether, cause I'm so bad at this. Self care, like Lindsay said. Yeah, so let's get into it. Let's do it. As I was kind of doing some like, uh, you know, surface level is what we're always going to say about our research. Yes, yeah. But as I was doing some surface level sort of research on this, uh, what I found out was that self care is either not emphasized or is totally missing, from most of the common used, measures of maternal health. Postpartum. Um, Lindsay mentioned that we're going to be talking about kind of the postpartum period. I'm going to just extend that through like to one year. That's what she and I both have experience with. We don't have anything further than that. Like she said, I think self care is going to change as our babies grow and as our time commitments change and whatever. But if you are a new mom, this one's for you. So there was a study in Australia that I found and it found it was like 200 moms that they were Interviewing and none, not a single one of all 200 of them had resumed like a sort of normal level of self care after six weeks, which is like kind of obvious. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Six weeks is none of us are normal. It's like a blink of an eye. Six weeks, dude. It's a blink of an

Lindsay: 9:27

eye. A blink. So much of a blink that I barely remember. I just remember like my settings. Of where I was in my house, you

Jordan: 9:36

know. Right. Nothing else. No, I don't think anyone perfectly remembers that time, which is kind of a shame. But yeah, if that feels fuzzy, if that memory feels fuzzy to you, or if you're living it right now and you feel fuzzy, that's normal. That's totally normal. I do want to say that if you're not finding time for it, that's okay. Yeah, that's super okay. Yeah, like pretty normal. Yep. Um, so let's get that out of the way. So an another study Was looking at mom's six months postpartum and the percentage of women there who hadn't resumed kind of normal self care activities and they were talking about Super basic things like going for a walk, having sex with your partner, even things like laying down. The percentage that hadn't resumed normal levels of this was 80 percent. And that, that sounds a little bit more surprising. I, it would even be shocking except that I've been there and I'm not surprised at all by it. Right.

Lindsay: 10:33

80 percent. When I was six months, okay, my daughter was in, it was summertime. And I, at that point I was still not feeling ready cause I was attached to the pump. Oh yeah. Like, I felt like that was taking up my like self care time that I could have put in for myself and I just wasn't there yet. There's

Jordan: 10:52

definitely a need for it. There's maybe just like, uh, I don't know, we're all just still transitioning into motherhood right then, aren't we? Yeah. Like, no one's kind of got it down after, so if you've got it down after six months and you feel like you're solid in your self care routine. That's incredible.

Lindsay: 11:10

Incredible. I

Jordan: 11:11

think you're a huge

Lindsay: 11:12

minority. Like almost super, yeah, super woman, yeah,

Jordan: 11:15

super powers. Definitely. Good for you. For the rest of us, there's a welcome to the club. I'm still not even close. That's, yeah, that's why we're talking about this. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, just on a quick note, something that's worth. like mentioning here is that similar studies have actually shown that while women who are experiencing like we've this is just a note on postpartum depression if you're experiencing postpartum depression you're probably caring for your infant just fine most moms who have ppd still are able to care for their infants without any issue or without you know enough of an issue that it's like Affecting the well being of your child, but postpartum depression does have an impact on a woman's ability to care for themselves. That's statistically, yeah, like, even more difficult for women who are experiencing postpartum depression. Um, and postpartum depression, I did a quick Google search. I was like, well, how many people are having, having that experience? It's up to like 20 percent of women going through postpartum depression at some point after that first year. That's

Lindsay: 12:19

a lot. If we could eradicate something like that, like, I feel like our world would be so much like, our postpartum world would

Jordan: 12:32

feel so good. Can you imagine? Yeah. So, back to that study. The same study found that while most women expressed that the primary importance for them was self care, even over like caring for their infant, there was kind of a conflicting but. prevalent idea coming from these moms that selflessness is an important trait in a parent. So there's this idea that we, that we do need to look after ourselves because obviously our mental and physical and emotional health is critical to our ability to parent. Yes. But at the same time in parallel is this like disparate idea that, yeah, we have to be selfless. And I think that striking the balance between those two is. Uh, definitely where I'm personally struggling and I think where, uh, like a lot of women could be parents because self care is important for the dads too and for people who, yeah, totally don't

Lindsay: 13:23

identify in that category. Once that little being enters your world, your, your entire focus and attention is everything is on them to help them succeed physically, emotionally, uh, mentally, like everything. You just put so much effort into. That little child.

Jordan: 13:42

Yeah. Yeah. It's

Lindsay: 13:44

how, yeah, that when you're doing that nonstop, of course, it's going to be really hard to kind of find that balance of finding time for yourself. I always try to remind myself nothing in this home is going to thrive unless I don't take some time for myself first. Yeah. Cause sometimes I'll, I'll find myself like, okay, I'm going to do my, do my self care like later in the day or like mid day or whatever. But if I don't do it first and foremost at the beginning of the day, I feel like I can succeed in my home better. My daughter has a better parent. a better mom, you know, my spouse has a better spouse. Like, you know, I'm not short with him. If he asked me a simple question, you know, I just. That self care for me personally has to come at the very beginning of the day. And so I just remind myself first and foremost, my self care comes first. Yeah,

Jordan: 14:35

that's great. It's super great that you've got that like in your head and in your routine. I think that's pretty critical. And that actually brings me to the next point that I was going to make, which is perfect. So, so finding that balance., Can be really tricky and there are three main things, like kind of three main, uh, obstacles or barriers to women, to these women in this study specifically, um, kind of finding that space for themselves or, you know, like working the self care into their routines. So those three barriers are This is going to surprise absolutely no one time, which is like, I could have just like shed a tear on the mark. That one is for me. Limited resources. Um, this could be so many things. Like for me, when, when I think about my own limited resources, the thing that I feel most limited on is cash and finances. I know for Lindsay, maybe like, um, I was thinking about for you and one thing that, that I have in spades around here that you don't have is like family members around to help out. Yeah.

Lindsay: 15:36

Yeah. Um, for me, it's definitely, uh, like the time thing I can relate to for sure. Um, I, I, being a stay at home mom, my daughter has all of my time. My husband comes home and then. It gives me a chance to step away for a few more minutes than I could have when she was down for a nap or something. But I don't want to necessarily because I don't want to miss out on that family bonding time. Yeah, totally. So then I'm like, okay, now I need to schedule in and figure out when's a good time to step away from my spouse and my daughter. And that happens to be at like anywhere between 4 in the morning.

Jordan: 16:18

And if I had the gumption to wake up that early, then

Lindsay: 16:21

I would do the same thing. Yeah, it is really hard. I am getting a little bit better at it. I've been going to bed earlier and earlier to like make it work out. Yeah. Um, it's tough when you don't have close family. Um, I'm lucky in the sense that my, uh, in laws are both retired and they do visit quite often. So we take full, I do take full advantage. It's a win win. They absolutely love the time. And they're like, go, go do your thing. Go do whatever you need to do. Get your errands run that are tough to do with your daughter or whatever. Um, but. Yeah, 430 it is. Yeah, and I

Jordan: 16:57

mean you're saying you have that help, and you do, but I think they come like a few times a year, whereas for me I've got like a sister who lives with us who loves spending time with my kid as much as I do. As anything else, so

Lindsay: 17:09

as much as I could be jealous of you, I'm so happy for you that you have that because your daughter thrives on that too. Oh, she loves it. I almost feel like when I have more people in my home that are staying like visitors, my daughter thrives and like almost meets her. Milestones quicker. Yeah, sooner. Yeah. So I think that's something really cool that like if they have more people and more interaction in their

17:33

home

Jordan: 17:34

with getting more. Yeah. Yeah. I'm so happy that you have that. Yeah, it's it has been. Yeah, she's so great. Shout out. Um, so the third thing just winding it back into the barriers, the three main barriers to self care. the third thing is struggling to ask for or accept help and boundary setting. so this could be, look like maybe a lack of trust around whether another person, even your partner maybe, um, cannot care for your child in the way that you. I feel comfortable caring for them. So the study also mentioned something that feels obvious, but that may get missed as we're scrolling through Instagram. And that is that self care looks very different for everyone, right? Like when you think of self care, like tell me you didn't think about. Taking a bath using expensive facial things that are awesome like no shade to the expensive facial products But like right. Yeah, we think about getting massages.

Lindsay: 18:33

Yeah, you think about the elaborate Most amazing thing that you would want totally. Yeah, and then you realize wow, just a hot bath of just water I'm gonna scale

Jordan: 18:43

it back and say like brushing your teeth. Yes, like All the way back. Like, we care for ourselves in so many ways that we do not give ourselves credit for. Drinking water?

Lindsay: 18:55

Yes, absolutely, dude. That's part of my, like, I incorporate that into self care for sure because if I don't have enough water in the day, I'm

Jordan: 19:03

Screwed. Yeah. Cheers. Yeah, cheers. I don't want to say

Lindsay: 19:06

that about our water now. We're drinking our water now. Excuse us. Ah. Yeah. Spring

Jordan: 19:15

water. Most annoying sound ever.

Lindsay: 19:18

Your water comes from the The The What's that filter? Oh, Berkey. Oh, you have a Berkey. Yeah. I want a Berkey filter so bad. She's got a Berkey on her counter and it looks beautiful. I've always wanted a Berkey filter. Yeah, they're fun. I need to ask one for Christmas maybe. Yeah.

Jordan: 19:39

Yeah. I'm

Lindsay: 19:39

like, well, my birthday is like two days before Christmas. I think maybe that is the one time I would say, please put them together because I want the nice

Jordan: 19:49

brickey filter. That's fair. I've had mine for years and I love every minute of it. There's like just a ritual, see, and even this is like kind of self care. There's like ritual and filling it for me at the end of the night to get, get the water ready for the next day. Yup. Even that is self care. So yeah, this is kind of something I'm going to just like pop into really quick, so. So yeah, I'm constantly being told that I need more self care and like time in spending money on myself and in like space around me You know like taking breaks outside of the house, which are great. Don't get me wrong. But as a full time working mom that's not really a part of my Regular life right now. That's definitely a huge treat but I worm self care into my day in so many different ways, you know. I get up, I brush my teeth, I shower at night because I work in a restaurant and if you have worked in a restaurant then you'll understand why I come home and my husband tells me that my hair smells like bolognese but luckily for me he really likes

Lindsay: 20:42

bolognese.

Jordan: 20:46

Oh yeah. But you know, all of those little things for all the day. I'm

Lindsay: 20:49

going to throw in like another like random funny thing. Our resort is next to a river that goes down the canyon and there have been some summer nights where you just like pull off and just jump into the ice cold

Jordan: 21:01

river. Ugh, the best. Yeah. So reviving.

Lindsay: 21:05

Yeah, you have to do that after a shift if you're working on a summertime. Go find some fresh water. Cold water. So

Jordan: 21:12

nice. So nice. Yeah. Yeah. That's some good self care. That's some

Lindsay: 21:16

good self care.

Jordan: 21:20

Okay. Alright, so the next thing that I I just have like five tips. Lindsay probably has a bunch of tips too.

Lindsay: 21:29

Okay, well we're just going to throw a random number of

Jordan: 21:31

tips at you. Yeah, I've got five. Um, so given, I kind of wanted to work within the constraints. Lindsay wasn't aware of the research that I did on the side. That was my responsibility today. Um, I appreciate it. Yeah. So, uh, I came up with five different ways that you could practice self care if you have no time. If you don't have cash or, you know, help resources, whatever, whatever other resources, if you don't have access to those and if you don't really have someone who you can, uh, pawn your kid off to, um, so I'll go into my five and then Lindsay, you can kind of rally with me and if there's one that relates to what you're talking about, we'll go for it. So the first one is, I just had to add the thing that I did yesterday cause it felt so good. You guys, I. I don't know how I haven't done this before. I used to have a really, really strong meditation practice and I've always done lots of yoga and stuff, right? Um, I don't meditate now. I don't have time. I just don't. So, um, it, yesterday my body was so worked up, like I said, that I just laid on my mat and I set my timer for five minutes and I did shavasana, which for those of you who don't practice yoga or who haven't heard of this, It's just basically corpse pose, is what they call it. So it just means laying on the floor, being as still as you can, and you don't have to worry about, there's not like a pressure in meditation where like, you gotta clear your mind or whatever. I I mean, it's great if you can clear your mind because you've got a thousand things running through it constantly as a parent. Um, but for me, what I did was just laid there. I kind of did a quick scan of my body to see where I was holding tension. I didn't even make a judgment about the tension. I just like noticed it and then started focusing on my breathing. So I did some breathing where you kind of do this like a slow inhale, but then you make an even slower exhale. and it activates this part of your nervous system that. it's like the kind of rest and digest side of your nervous system, right? That lowers cortisol levels, lowers that feeling of anxiety and just kind of brings you back into your body. Um, that's my first recommendation. My second recommendation is to write your feelings down. So this isn't necessarily, I guess this is journaling, but it's not necessarily journaling. When I tell myself I'm going to journal, I'm like, no,

Lindsay: 23:48

yeah, I was going to, I'm just going to add real briefly that reminds me of like what the work I do with my therapist. She's very into like getting it on paper and like journaling, but like my sense of journaling is not like journaling, like dear diary, it's three things I'm grateful for. It's just words all over the piece of paper and it's very like unstructured. Yes. I like what you're saying. I like, I like this direction

Jordan: 24:12

you're going. That's exactly, yeah, that's exactly what Lindsay said is exactly what I was saying. Like for me it would look like, you could get paper or you could even just do it in, in your phone somewhere. Just like write down. Um, you could even just make a point of. writing down three words for what you're feeling right now. And you don't have to reflect on it, but if you want to, that's great. I mean, yeah, and that's, that's self care. There's a decent body of research out there that says journaling can have huge mental health benefits. And I think something as basic as this could be more approachable and also like still will have. Some of those benefits. Yeah. Amazing. So the third one is also not going to surprise anybody. This one is to move your body. And again, if you don't have any time, yeah, I'm sure you do. If you don't have any time, you again, like there's a lot of power in just setting a timer for like even a really small amount of time. You can do this with your kid or while they're napping. but yeah, go for a walk. Ideally outside. I know Lindsey can talk about fresh air in a minute. That's so critical. Um, even if the weather's bad, going outside can make all the difference. And then, yeah, another thing you can do if you want to move your body, but you don't want to go for a walk or don't want to go outside, or if you've got a fussing baby, something I did a lot when I was like having my worst days in like the sort of six months postpartum period was. We had a gnarly winter. Yeah, we did. We had the gnarliest

Lindsay: 25:33

winter. Utah had phenomenal amount of snow that I missed out on. I did not get to ski. I did not get to hike.

Jordan: 25:41

I skied like twice. Oh.

Lindsay: 25:43

Yeah, rough. That was rough. I'm hopeful that maybe this winter we get snow a little bit like last year. But it was, it was amazing that all the moisture we got and everything. Oh, we needed it. But it sucked that I missed out and I was in postpartum.

Jordan: 25:55

Yep. Sometimes you gotta practice your JOMO, joy of missing out. Yes. That's a phrase that changed my life because I was always like, I have so much FOMO and I think I just really liked the word cause now that I'm like, Oh, I got JOMO, I'm like feeling, I'm like vibing with that. Love it. Although I still would like to go skiing this year. If you work at a ski resort and you don't ski, there's like some kind of sad about that. That's all I gotta say. Yeah, so, the thing that I did, scrolling way back, is I, I would put on a song. I love Peach Pit, it's one of my favorite bands. Shout out Peach Pit guys. Yes! And I'd put on shampoo bottles or some like, silly, amazing, like, kind of, it's a little bit, the song's like a little bit of a bummer, but it's also like, really nice. Feels good. Yes! And I would like, Dance around the house and just like listen to that one song you get bonus points in this little category if you practice this for singing Oh, cool. Yep. Yep. You get bonus points for singing because it's a way of moving your vocal cords. Exactly. And you know what that does? What? It tones your vagus nerve. No way. Yes, it tones your vagus nerve. So the vagus nerve is a nerve that wonders throughout your whole body, through your gut, right through your diaphragm. Yeah, yeah, totally. And through your vocal cords. And when the vagus nerve is toned, it also, it also triggers that parasympathetic nerve, that nervous system piece that, that helps with the rest and digest and the kind of like calming and the decrease in cortisol. And it happens like immediately. So singing is, a totally a game changer for a lot of people. I've even heard, I've never tried this, but I've even heard that if you have a bad trip on psychedelics, okay, you can sing your way out of it. Oh my gosh.

Lindsay: 27:43

Experiment. Someone tell me how it went for them. Yeah.

Jordan: 27:48

Oh, cool. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. So that's number three. Number four, this is going to be divisive. Okay. Okay. Ready? I don't think it's going to be divisive for us. Cause you kind of already said it in some kind of roundabout way. Something that I do when I'm experiencing a lot of anxiety or just frustration or like cabin fever or whatever. If I feel like I need to just like cleanse myself and take Just like a wash. I, uh, will add 30 seconds to two minutes of very cold water at the end of my shower.

Lindsay: 28:19

We've done this together. We

Jordan: 28:21

haven't done this together. Well,

Lindsay: 28:22

not like in the shower, but like you used to have a tub, right? We are not that close of friends. We do not schedule our shower time during podcast time to make sure that we got our cold water. Our cold spell

Jordan: 28:38

of the day. But carry on, I'd love to hear where this is actually going.

Lindsay: 28:41

We used to have a tub.

Jordan: 28:44

Oh yeah, our cold water plunger. Yeah, do you still have that? Yeah, it's like sitting in my absolutely

Lindsay: 28:50

dilapidated backyard. The first time I had ever done that was with you. Well, I mean, besides dipping into a freezing cold river. Which

Jordan: 28:57

yeah, still counts. But like,

Lindsay: 28:58

but did the whole Wim

Jordan: 28:59

Hof breathing and everything. I have a horse trough. Yeah. Which is ideal. That's what she's talking about. Yeah. Yeah. I have a horse trough and we sometimes just pop a bunch of ice into it. My sister works at a local restaurant and they have an ice machine and we go steal their ice. Oh, there you go. And we dump it in and we sit there for as long as we

Lindsay: 29:16

can. So what you're saying is After your like warm shower, you turn that water down cold.

Jordan: 29:22

Like I could, I could, I like to think that I am strong enough in my mind to just have a cold shower. But the reality is I need some hot water on my muscles.

Lindsay: 29:31

I hear that you like, it's, you can get to that point if like practice, you know, I think probably. Yeah.

Jordan: 29:37

Yeah. I mean, we're humans. We could probably withstand it. I think like we don't give ourselves credit for how strong our minds can be, but that's part of it. I even did this on my workup to being able. to, uh, handle the pain of labor. I would put the cold water on and work on like the labor breath in the cold water in the shower. I should have done that. It was really cool. I mean, I ended up having a C section, but I went through labor for like 40 something hours. So, um, I think it maybe it helped a little. I had to have. Yeah. I mean, mentally, if not anything else. Oh, I should have done that. Yeah. Next time.

Lindsay: 30:10

Noted for next time.

Jordan: 30:11

Yeah. Next time. Um, yeah. So give it a go. See what happens for you. It might feel, it's really, for me, it feels really invigorating and it does release a lot of endorphins to be popped in that cold water. Yeah. All right. Coming in with number five. This one, we kind of already talked about it a little bit, but I think this might be the most important one that I've come up with. And that is to. Try and shift your perspective. So this one might take some work, but it shouldn't take your time And you don't need someone to take your baby over to do it Yeah, so things that don't feel like self care they are self care like we said Like I make a lot of I make a ton of lists I make lists for everything and when I was prepping for this episode I made a list of what my normal day looks like and what of those things I do during the day that are For myself to care for my mental well being my physical well being, you know emotional spiritual well being and the list was so It's like every single thing that I do throughout the day somehow comes back to this, this ultimate, like higher intention of caring for myself.

Lindsay: 31:15

Yeah. And then at the end of that list, you're probably like, I am doing it. Yes. When you're like patting yourself down, you're like, Oh yeah, this is great. All of a sudden you're patting yourself on the back and you feel better about like moving forward for the next day. Yes, absolutely. Way. Awesome. I want to try that. I. Because at the top of my head as I'm thinking about my day now, now that you mentioned you just like kind of thought about your day and like wrote all the things down. I'm like, okay, I already, like, I'm getting up early, which is sometimes some mornings tough to do. Yeah. But the first thing I'm doing in the morning is like a yoga stretching. Yeah, totally. Way

Jordan: 31:49

awesome. Yep. So give that a go too, cause that might help you just to realize that while you may not be, uh, while this version of self care might not be totally Instagram worthy, it is,

Lindsay: 32:01

it is what matters. I think that's very important. Yeah. It's very important because I see those messages on social media too. Yeah, we all do.

Jordan: 32:09

It's like, I'm like,

Lindsay: 32:10

I'm not that. I'm not that. I'm not that. It's always, I'm not doing that. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. And then all of a sudden, yeah, you change your perspective and reflect on what your day actually looks like and you're like, I'm doing this and I'm doing that. I am, I am, I am. That's amazing.

Jordan: 32:24

Totally, yeah. Wow. Made a huge difference. So yeah. Those are your five. Yeah, feel free to add anything that's important to you. I mean, I was going to add fresh air with walking. Yeah, yeah. You can pop off into that one. Yeah. Because I think that one, for me, that one is like. Nothing could be more important. No,

Lindsay: 32:39

you're right. Uh, yeah. I just have a few that are pretty similar to until Jordan's as well. Fresh air is first and foremost. Although I was, uh, I had my daughter in December and we had a really tough, long winter here out West. And, uh, Even, I went outside and got fresh air on the gloomiest, snowiest day, moved my body a little bit. And that, that was crucial. Though, I remember the first day doing that and it being, like, almost a little terrifying because it was so, I was just nervous to, like, change up my routine. I was in such survival mode of taking care of myself. I had a tough recovery, personally. And also, like, exposing her to, you know, a new routine. I was just kind of like, oh my gosh. And

Jordan: 33:28

a new environment. Taking a tiny kid outside in the cold, snowy days. All

Lindsay: 33:31

the things. I was like, what if a dog Comes out and like chases me, you know, like, it was just like hyper, I was hyper like attentive to like every little thing, but fresh air, I, the, the moment I did it that first day, I was like, this is crucial. I need to do this every single day. And Jordan was so kind. We live two blocks from each other and she was more than willing to like, we would just line up, like I'm going for a walk. Can you join? And whenever it worked out, it was so nice. Yeah, it was. Wow. That was like, yeah. Yeah, like the simplest thing self care, fresh air. Um, another one was fitting in solo time. Yeah, um,

Jordan: 34:11

that's one I really

Lindsay: 34:12

suck at. Yeah, because you're busy with your daughter during the first half of the day. And you're trying to get all your things in during that time with

Jordan: 34:21

her. Yeah, totally. Before work. And then I come home from work and I like, I have about 10 minutes to spend on my husband. And I like, love that. Like, we hang out and we just watch a show and I just decompress. And that's also self care. It's not solo time. I'm going to make it a goal to get more solo time this week.

Lindsay: 34:37

Yeah. There you go. Yeah. My solo time. Right out of the gates of postpartum was literally a shower. Oh, yeah. And that was true for pretty much everybody. Yeah, that was like, and it had to be a point where I was like, um, Oh my god, and you guys don't know this? serious question, I

Jordan: 34:56

have to tell everyone what it was like for you. Because you guys don't know this But she's saying that that was her solo time because this crazy bitch had a family in town. Yeah, it was Christmas Yeah, she had her whole family in town. Yeah, no one lives here Yeah I guess they stayed at an Airbnb close by but they were basically at her house all day every day from the moment She got yeah back from the hospital for like how long?

Lindsay: 35:20

Um, three, no, it was like about three and a half weeks. My mom had a shorter term because she has my, she has my sister's kids that she loves to spend a little bit of the holiday with. Um, but my, being my in laws were entire retired and my sister in law, she grateful for all of our cooking and help and everything she can work away from home, but it was overstimulating for me. Oh, for sure. Um, I didn't really have like a. Quiet space. I mean, if, if I was like, Hey, I'm going to nap, it was still like, I could hear what was going on in the home or doors were shutting or kitchen stuff was going on. It was overstimulating for quite some time. And, um, my solo time was literally when they went to the Airbnb for the night. Um, and I finally got that like 20 to 30 minute bath soak that I needed to do. If you know, you know, and, um, that was like it for me, but. It was so crucial for me to have a minute and I and that's when I had to tell my husband like yo if it's like a serious you need to let me know but I need this time solo but for me A shower was first and foremost my solo time. Now it's definitely changed. I've dived into hobbies that I'm prioritizing that make me happy. Also note that I'm, I contact napped my child for 10 months. 10

Jordan: 36:40

months of contact naps. 10 months. I

Lindsay: 36:42

did love it for the most part towards the end there. She was, I mean, it's not that like she wasn't doing well, she, in her crib she was doing well, but it was. She wasn't necessarily doing the best during the day. She was doing great, like, in her crib at night and stuff. Um, but I contact napped and just nice in the rocking chair. And she had a beautiful, like, set up. Safe set up. And, yeah, it was very safe. I made sure, first and foremost. And we contact napped and I got a lot done. Like, I slept. That was another, like, self care thing I took advantage of during postpartum was rest. I rest. I hydrated. I read. I slept a lot. Yeah. Um, so yeah, that was like kind of my solo time was towards the end of that evening when I would shower or bathe. Yeah. Um, another thing I wish I had done, which I guess I can mention too, is scheduling your personal appointments way ahead of time. I, all of a sudden was like, okay, I'll just get my hair done, you know, a few months into postpartum that never arrived, that appointment never arrived. I never made that appointment because you just never figure out, I'm sure every mom deals with something like this. Like, when am I going to figure out the time to go? Yeah. And I

Jordan: 37:56

mean, so here's the thing. I, I feel like I love what you're saying and I totally get it. And it certainly makes sense for like, yeah, for like doctor's appointments. I think for me that period to tell me what it was like for you. Cause it might've been totally different for me, the period of like preparation as I was finishing up my pregnancy and like going into this of absolute unknowns was like, like quite intense. And I don't think that I, I think I already had so much on my plate that thinking ahead into a period of time that like felt so, Just

Lindsay: 38:27

mysterious. That was like that. I had that feeling when I had my daughter. Interesting. But before I had her, I, I sensed that, like, I should have made all those appointments because it would have been easy to make all those appointments before she entered the side of the earth. I can see that. But after I had her, yeah, it was very mysterious. Yeah. Interesting. Like when? When it was, it's something way up there in the sky that you just like can't like figure out how to make that

Jordan: 38:53

appointment. Yeah. So me and Lindsay are both type A. If you're like type A, maybe she's like type A plus. Yeah. If you're type A plus, that's probably really good advice. And if you plan on getting your hair done, I do my hair about once every four weeks. four or four years. Not actually. Yeah. Probably more like once every two years. I'm very lazy.

Lindsay: 39:14

I, yeah, I am somebody that schedules like six months at a time, if not a year now. I

Jordan: 39:23

mean, it makes sense, doesn't it? Especially as your kids, you got to like plan for the season that they're going to be a certain age and blah, blah, blah, blah. I totally get that. We've planned our trips like a year in advance. We're not taking very many. Right. Yeah.

Lindsay: 39:36

Which brings me to another, point of self care saying no to extra responsibilities. Oh, good one. Took good one. I took gardening out of my life. I'm a huge gardener. I'd like to grow our own food and have the bees come and do all the wildflowers and compost and all that. I stopped. I'm taking a hiatus. I'm still in hiatus of gardening. I did not have much to do with it this year. My, I said, I told my husband, like, it's all you have at it. I am not going to have the time. And I barely, and I did tell him during harvest season, he's typically gone. We are typically gone during harvest, guarding harvest season because we were hunters, but, um, he was gone this year. I stayed back and I just told him, yo, I'm only going to do what I can.

Jordan: 40:21

Which, as a basically a single mom during that period, is not a lot. Right. Like gardening, and then canning, and doing a lot of stuff with a baby under one, and a dog all by

Lindsay: 40:31

yourself. Yeah, I took, I said no to extra responsibilities, and gardening in my life is an extra responsibility, but that was a really nice way of giving myself some care. Yeah, I love that. Um, and then, I think I only have like one more. Is it, uh, the glow, yeah, uh, Oh, it's kind of like lined up with yours. Like I kept up on my vitamins and minerals. I got fresh air, stayed hydrated, slept a lot, ate very well. I feel like that's all a form of self care stuff. Yeah. Like the daily stuff and just took care of myself during the day cause I want to feel good. If I don't feel good physically, I'm just, Oh dude, that's true for everybody. Yeah. My, I had a tough recovery and like I mentioned earlier, and it just kind of really put me in like this weird mental space that I just wasn't like. getting out of. And so I just ate really well, really healthy, kept up on my vitamins and minerals, electrolytes, all that got fresh air and sunlight. Um,

Jordan: 41:26

Came out the other side. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Thank God. Yeah. Next level.

Lindsay: 41:32

Yep. Yep. Um, and then my other one, I was just going to add on to yours too, was, um, having like a glorious routine, like just whatever routine that you do have in the morning or evening or midday or whatever routine you have for yourself. Just make it absolutely glorious and appreciate every single part of it because.

Jordan: 41:51

Can you tell me how I could brush my teeth more gloriously? Yeah,

Lindsay: 41:56

I could if you're getting ready for bed. Don't turn your bathroom lights off and turn on like a Himalayan salt lamp or like red light therapy. I'm loving this already. Like set the mood. Like literally make it like the most peaceful environment that you can be in to brush your teeth. I would say that that's a way of making. I was

Jordan: 42:16

totally kidding and you came at me hot with that

Lindsay: 42:18

one. I'm going to do that. And then in the morning too, don't turn those bathroom lights on. Turn on your Himalayan salt lamp and uh. Just let your body wake up into the day.

Jordan: 42:26

This is assuming you wake up before the sun like Lindsay does. Yes. This is a, this is a poor assumption.

Lindsay: 42:31

Yes. Yes. I have a cute little like, uh, sunlight that I got, was gifted by my sister in law. Cause I had, like I mentioned before, I had my baby in the middle of winter. It was dark. Gloomy, she got me a sunlight light thing and I let you borrow it for a little

Jordan: 42:48

period of time Because winter was so gnarly. I was like spiraling.

Lindsay: 42:51

Yeah. Yeah, that's true And I feel like that was still even too bright for me to start at like that early

Jordan: 42:56

in the morning Yeah, maybe if you like turned it away

Lindsay: 43:00

so, um

Jordan: 43:01

Yeah, we can pop into I guess you do have kind of technically one more Recommendation and that's like our little trending

Lindsay: 43:08

now section our trending now next

Jordan: 43:10

little piece of our podcast.

Lindsay: 43:12

Mm hmm. Yeah, you talked about Keeping your cortisol levels like kind of relaxed and down earlier and this is another fun way I've been doing this for a while Gosh, I mean years. I've been doing it for a really long time. Yeah. Wow. I've been drinking the Adrenal Cocktail for a really long time. It's the first thing I have in the morning. I think I started this in 2016. I entered the world of CrossFit in 2016. Did you actually? How

Jordan: 43:43

did I know this about you? Yeah, I

Lindsay: 43:45

did. And I loved it. I truly did love it. However, I was, Not necessarily diving into, uh, the recovery game. As intensely as I should have been. I was waking up early to go work at the hospital. It was a stressful environment there. After work, I would go to, uh, CrossFit and it was a physically stressful environment there. I would come home, eat a wonderful, like, healthy meal and not relax. It was like, my relaxing was like, let's go hike. Let's go walk another 5, 000 steps. five, 10, 000 steps. It was not necessarily because I needed like my outdoor time to and I wasn't necessarily going to bed at 9 p. m. like I should have been. It was like concert life. It was date life. It was all this stuff. So my adrenals were fried and um, I was feeling unnecessarily like fatigue and a lot of body aches when I was in CrossFit and so I just kind of tapped into adrenal fatigue. I had heard about it, I bought, uh, the book on Amazon called Adrenal Fatigue by James L. Wilson. learned about it, blew my mind, and I started to figure out a way to, lower my cortisol levels and cortisol is a hormone that comes from your adrenal glands. Um, and. Stress hormone. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And so I just kind of like reevaluate all areas of my life where I was stressed and it was like, wow, I'm mentally stressed, emotionally and really physically stressing myself. Um, so the adrenal cocktail is great. It's a, a type of drink that's made of like a citrus. A lot of people use orange juice. I personally use emergency. Um, just to get enough, like, vitamin C in my day. it's a mix with that of coconut water, sea salt, is it water and coconut water? Yes. Coconut water. It's coconut? No, it's, so it's, for me, I guess it's water with the emergency kind of packet.

Jordan: 45:40

Okay. All right. So you, so you like prepare the emergency or you have like some orange juice and then you mix that with coconut water. Coconut water. So like eight ounces, eight ounces about?

Lindsay: 45:49

What would you say? Uh huh. Yeah. Okay. So just to clarify, the adrenal cocktail is a citrus beverage with coconut water and sea salt. Just those three. Right, so it's like electrolytes. Yep. Yep. Like a natural form of, yep. Okay, cool. My personal drink, um, I kind of add a little bit extra to it and it's done really well for me just playing around with recipes and stuff. Emergency, unsweetened coconut water. I'm not somebody that likes added sugar, so I just make sure the ingredients is just coconut water. And then Himalayan salt, I just do a couple, like, grinds of that and then I do a pinch, a big pinch of Celtic sea salt as well. Um, what's the difference between the salts? So the Celtic sea salt, I think, has a few It's more, the minerals are more condensed. Oh, interesting. Not condensed, concentrated. Yeah, yeah. That's my word. I mean, it's similar. Yeah. Gotcha. So I do a little bit of both. I don't know. Cool. Just till I cover my bases, I guess. Love it. Um, and then I do actually do a little splash of unsweetened aloe vera juice as well. Oh. That's really good for your gut lining. Just to throw in a little extra something. Gonna try that. Yeah, and that's my adrenal cocktail. I've been doing that every single morning since 2016. Dang. Every single, I, I'm so, this is so important to me that I'll make sure that I have it even when I travel. Wow. Um, so yeah. It helps your adrenals, adrenal fatigue. It's something that's trending. You may have seen it on social media.

Jordan: 47:16

Yeah. Lindsay was surprised I hadn't seen anything about this, but I was actually, yeah,

Lindsay: 47:22

um, I will say in the summertime during Coke cucumber season when I garden, I've added like cucumber juice to it. Yum. It's so good. Yeah. Yeah. Um, we have some items to recommend for our self care podcast.

Jordan: 47:34

Yes. Well, mine's not an item, but yes. Mine is Tell me yours. Well, it could've just been one of the It could've just been number six on my list earlier. Oh, okay. Okay. Um, but mine is actually just a, like, kind of a mindfulness practice, but don't let that put you off. Um

Lindsay: 47:53

I won't.

Jordan: 47:54

Okay. Uh, it's a, what is called a body scan, and it's what it sounds like, and you may have done it before, but Really, this is a game changer for me in my day to day life, just making sure I, um, stay kind of calm and keep my body tension kind of lower. I say kind of lower because my body tension is like crazy. But this helps. So basically what you do is you just, I'm going to go through it really quick. You can kind of follow along with me if you want to, but I would recommend doing this like a little slower in your own time, if you have any. So just close your eyes in whatever position you're in. Bring your mind into your feet. And then work your way up your legs. And as you're moving your mind through your body, through each piece of your body, you're just relaxing them. All the muscles in that part of your body, move up your legs, your hips, your butt, your abdomen and back, upper back, shoulders, back down, your arms into your fingers, your hands, wrists, and kind of work your mind back up through your neck. Head muscles, all the muscles in your face. Just release all the tension. And then you can kind of wake back up and be like, Oh, okay, cool. Yeah. I was holding a lot of tension in this place or this place or here. That's my recommendation. And you can add that to any, like any moment of the day. I sometimes will do it when I'm driving on the way home from work. If it's been a crazy day or waiting in line for something

Lindsay: 49:22

I can do all the time. That's really good practice. Yeah. It's something that's like, for me, it almost seems like really hard to remember. Remember to do. Yes. And the fact that you do that like in your car is like amazing. I almost feel like I have to be like in a yoga setting. Like I just felt now in order to do that, like once every

Jordan: 49:39

while. You don't, it's also a good way to calm down if you're like in a fight with your partner. Oh, sure.

Lindsay: 49:44

Yeah. Like take a

Jordan: 49:45

breath. Yeah. Regulate, get grounded. That's my recommendation this week. Wow, dang,

Lindsay: 49:50

how do I follow up with that? That was so nice. With yours, which is also lovely. Mine is more product based. I have found that, something I went through for, through postpartum, Um, was I, you have like the self image of yourself, right? And you're transitioning into being a mom and it's a whole identity thing. And there were times like I, did a lot of my self care in the bathroom and the mirrors right there. And I was like, man, I'm really aging. I'm tired. I'm like darkest circles ever under my eyes, deepest lines, darkest circles. Will this ever go away? And you almost kind of find yourself in that like unfortunate negative space. While you're trying to take care of yourself But there are a couple of things that like I Did to help I did have like super dark. I probably saw I mean I still have my feel like but my my Certain area I had dark circles and it was just Like hard for me to accept. I know it's a part of like the whole thing and it can be like you can find like the The beauty of it all like you're a strong mom, you know You can back it up with something beautiful like that, but I have two products that worked really well for me I highly recommend them. I'm like telling everybody that's ever like come up to me and talk to me about like dark circles under eyes, you know, whatever girl talk. And, um, two of the products I have, I have these like firming eye gel patches by skin Iceland. It's the company skin Iceland and they have like these hydro cool firming eye gel patches and you can get them on Amazon or Alta has them. Um, the skin Iceland, uh, website for sure has them, but like, I've tried like all the things like, okay, I'll just take an ice cube or I'll take like cold cucumber slices or whatever. And it just like, it was hard for me to be sitting around with an

Jordan: 51:46

ice cube on your eyeball.

Lindsay: 51:47

Yeah. Or like the cucumber patches, like that's impossible for me to do. So please just attach gel patches to my face and I can go about my day. So I put those on for 10 minutes. That's like what I'm feeling. extra tired or, um, I feel like my dark circles are coming through. and then what I like to do when I do go out and about, if I'm wearing makeup or something, I found this product. Called Becca, B E C C A By the Smashbox Cosmetics Company.

Jordan: 52:16

I've always loved the name Smashbox for a cosmetic company. Fun fact about me. Yeah.

Lindsay: 52:22

So they have this stuff called the under eye brightening corrector, and it's just like this little like jar of paste and I have it in the fair light color and it's almost like a pinkish and you just put that on like underneath your eyes a little bit, a little close. So far, which is kind of nice. I like that about a cosmetic like if a little bit goes far you've won me That's super cool. So, those are my two products for the recommendation of all things to, to talk

Jordan: 52:50

about that. Yeah. Go try those out, everybody. Mm hmm.

Lindsay: 52:53

Yeah. And that was, that was fun. That was fun. We have more self care episodes, I'm sure. Oh

Jordan: 52:58

yeah. In the future. Yep. Yeah. And I'm going to get better at practicing it for myself and remembering the ways that I'm doing a good job. Yes.

Lindsay: 53:06

I'm going to do that. I kind of like want, I'm excited about that little experiment. I want to go home right now and just like figure out all the things I'm doing. Yeah, you're a list person too. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for that tip. Absolutely.

Jordan: 53:19

Thanks for uh, hanging out with us. Yeah.

Lindsay: 53:22

This was great. Have a good day. We'll peace out. We'll see you

Jordan: 53:25

next time. See ya. On We Have Kids.